Nighttime routines
Madeleine's nighttime routine starts by laying or sitting on my bed for 10 or 15 minutes while I start her bath. She plays on the bed with whatever is around, her toes, if nothing else. Then its bath time with farm animals, ducks, and several fish toys. She plays while I keep her warm by pouring the water on her chest and shoulders. Soap. Shampoo. Rinse. Lay on the bed again while getting dried off. Clean clothes and pajamas. Family prayer, and then she nurses. If she's already had a lot to eat or nursed recently she sometimes doesn't want to nurse again. In that case, she takes her pacifier and we recline on my bed together, with her head on my chest and legs propped up on mine while I sing or talk to her, or show her the fan (which she still LOVES). I try to do things that make her happy and help her relax while she sucks on her pacifier. After a little while (5-15 minutes) she's laid down in her crib and she falls asleep.
As we were getting ready for bed tonight I thought back to my own bedtime routine as a child. My mom would tuck me into bed, pulling the covers up around my arms. Then she sang to me. Kimmy and I shared a room for a long time and so she would sit on one of our beds for one song and then move to the other bed for the next song. We asked her to sing us song after song after song. I can't remember her ever getting irritated that we "made" her stay in our rooms for so long. I think she enjoyed the process, albeit quite lengthy. I remember holding her hand and playing with her wedding ring while she would sing to me. We had to stay laying down, but she would stay with us for as long as we wanted.
I remember my dad sometimes putting us to bed too. He would also pull the covers up around us and sit by us. He would draw on our faces with his pointer finger and tell us stories. Jack and the bean stock and Goldie locks and the three bears are the ones I remember him telling us the most. And they weren't short stories. He'd give sufficient detail to stretch them out to 10 or 15 minutes each. I love those memories from bed time with my mom and dad.
As I got older I remember Alicia coming to lay down with us until we'd fall asleep, or be tired enough not to care that she left us. Sometimes Joseph would come in and lay down with me too until I fell asleep. I would draw on his back and then roll over so that he would draw on mine. Sometimes Alicia would draw letters on my back and I would guess what they were until I got a whole word or phrase. Or sometimes we would draw pictures on the other's back and then have them guess what we drew.
I hope bedtime is always enjoyable for Madeleine and her future siblings as well as for Matt and I. I'm sure it won't be perfect every night but I hope the "norm" is good. I remember the first night Madeleine didn't want to nurse to sleep (it was a couple months ago). I was so offended! I thought to myself, here I am offering her this practically perfect nutrition as I hold her in my arms and keep her warm; but all she's doing is squirming, trying to sit up and look at other things. So I carried her into her room and laid her down and left. She didn't cry; she found her pacifier and fell asleep on her own after a while (maybe 45 minutes). I wasn't trying to be mean but I frankly was hurt by her refusal to cuddle up, take a good long drink and doze off to sleep in my arms as she usually did. Then I realized two things 1. She wasn't refusing me; she had just eaten quite a bit and didn't want any extra milk. 2. She still wanted to be held and relax with me in order to fall asleep sooner.
Madeleine still falls asleep nursing some nights and I love it. I know it won't last forever and so I will enjoy it for as long as she wants to keep nursing to sleep. As she changes I will have to change too. My hope is that I'll learn to enjoy every stage as much as I enjoy the current one--to make each time of her childhood memorable and pleasant as my parents did for me.
As we were getting ready for bed tonight I thought back to my own bedtime routine as a child. My mom would tuck me into bed, pulling the covers up around my arms. Then she sang to me. Kimmy and I shared a room for a long time and so she would sit on one of our beds for one song and then move to the other bed for the next song. We asked her to sing us song after song after song. I can't remember her ever getting irritated that we "made" her stay in our rooms for so long. I think she enjoyed the process, albeit quite lengthy. I remember holding her hand and playing with her wedding ring while she would sing to me. We had to stay laying down, but she would stay with us for as long as we wanted.
I remember my dad sometimes putting us to bed too. He would also pull the covers up around us and sit by us. He would draw on our faces with his pointer finger and tell us stories. Jack and the bean stock and Goldie locks and the three bears are the ones I remember him telling us the most. And they weren't short stories. He'd give sufficient detail to stretch them out to 10 or 15 minutes each. I love those memories from bed time with my mom and dad.
As I got older I remember Alicia coming to lay down with us until we'd fall asleep, or be tired enough not to care that she left us. Sometimes Joseph would come in and lay down with me too until I fell asleep. I would draw on his back and then roll over so that he would draw on mine. Sometimes Alicia would draw letters on my back and I would guess what they were until I got a whole word or phrase. Or sometimes we would draw pictures on the other's back and then have them guess what we drew.
I hope bedtime is always enjoyable for Madeleine and her future siblings as well as for Matt and I. I'm sure it won't be perfect every night but I hope the "norm" is good. I remember the first night Madeleine didn't want to nurse to sleep (it was a couple months ago). I was so offended! I thought to myself, here I am offering her this practically perfect nutrition as I hold her in my arms and keep her warm; but all she's doing is squirming, trying to sit up and look at other things. So I carried her into her room and laid her down and left. She didn't cry; she found her pacifier and fell asleep on her own after a while (maybe 45 minutes). I wasn't trying to be mean but I frankly was hurt by her refusal to cuddle up, take a good long drink and doze off to sleep in my arms as she usually did. Then I realized two things 1. She wasn't refusing me; she had just eaten quite a bit and didn't want any extra milk. 2. She still wanted to be held and relax with me in order to fall asleep sooner.
Madeleine still falls asleep nursing some nights and I love it. I know it won't last forever and so I will enjoy it for as long as she wants to keep nursing to sleep. As she changes I will have to change too. My hope is that I'll learn to enjoy every stage as much as I enjoy the current one--to make each time of her childhood memorable and pleasant as my parents did for me.
Good thoughts and good memories. It really gets fun when they want to read stories before bed. Brushing teeth is the only negative memory I have of the bedtime routine of the boys and they both only had stretches of refusal for a couple of months. Now they are perfectly content to brush their teeth and have them brushed.
ReplyDeleteYou've been active blogging lately. I like it. I really liked your thoughts on hope vs. discouragement.
What sweet memories, Christy! For a minute there you had me back in that bedroom with you and Kimmy, going from bed to bed, singing song after song! We had fun times, didn't we? Being a mom is great fun! Enjoy it and hang onto it, it goes by faster than you think! Enjoy these sweet quiet times with little Maddie. Etch them in your mind. And when you're 61 and she is calling you for advice you'll remember this day. I love you, Sweetheart! Thank you for being MY little angel who grew up to have your own little angel.
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